Lost and Found

So, I thought I’d lost you.

Somewhere between dried up tears

and choked up bitterness,

I thought I’d lost you.

That smile that was never fully freed

and that laugh that always fell short…

made me think you were gone.

I couldn’t remember your name

and I could barely recall your face…

That face that was never really open

and that look that always seemed cold.

Your anger was always palpable to me

and your bitterness needed a lemon…

I thought I’d lost you forever.

To heart-ache’s graveyard and

to no-rainbow-no-sunshine’s hell.

You had forgotten how to smile

and how to let someone make you

feel so…so…so happy.

Happiness was a foreign concept,

inspired only by self-sustained moves.

You deserved more than that,

more than self-serve joy and glee…

I am not asking you to believe in fairy tales

again

Nor am I asking you to put blinders on and leap

from your safe hiding place

into the unknown.

 

I thought I’d lost you.

When tears ruled the day and all we had was

our ‘what-if’s’ and our ‘why-me’s’ or our ‘why-not-me’s’

and so we hid. From them who hurt us the most.

And them who never saw us when we stood

right in front of them offering our keys, our selves.

Our love.

 

I thought I’d lost you.

 

But you showed yourself.

 

And I welcome you back…

with a whole-heartedness and fire

that needs no quenching…

 

Let’s let love back in.

 
Written October 10, 2010 10/10/10

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